To cry or not to cry.

Sometimes I have to remind myself it's okay to cry. Then I still fight back tears. It's a battle I'm constantly fighting with myself. To cry or not to cry.

Tonight I was with a friend looking at wedding invitations. That itself made me a little teary. Then somehow the lady who was helping us someone got on the topic of babies and her sister just having one & being in the Navy. So of course it gets brought up that my husbands in the navy, so on come the questions. I'm proud of him and I love to 'brag' about him but geeeeeeeze. If I look away from you and blink erratically, I am about to cry, enough with the questions!

I always come close to crying at the worst times, like tonight in party city. Sometimes I can't stop it though and I just cry. If I see someone in uniform, I can feel the tears coming. And there's no stopping them then. I don't know what I'd do without my friends comforting me in a restaraunt, at 3 AM, in the middle of a movie. Anywhere and everywhere I need them, they are there. Sometimes I see the tears come to their eyes too. Its wonderful knowing I have friends who literally, cry when I cry.

So right now, I'm crying. And it's perfectly appropriate. The cat and dog already think I'm crazy so if I'm crying they just snuggle a little closer and let me. They don't ask questions. I'm in my pajamas. I'd be watching a mushy movie if there was a good one on. And YES there would be ice cream and cookie dough involved if there was any. But who wants to put on their bra to go to the store. hahaha. So my chocolate milk will have to work.

Less than 100 days to go now, and at this point 100 days seems like nothing. I can't wait to see my husband. I can't wait for him to see our house for the first time. I can't wait for him to wrap his arms around me and swear it will all be okay. But I know as soon as that comes, another deployment will come too sooner or later. Unfortunately right now it's loooking pretty soon. So I will grin and bear it and fight the battle of to cry or not to cry all over again.