right here waiting for you..

so as i usually do. i've come to eat my words. i regret telling jacob i wanted to go home to virginia. i regret the cruel things i've said out of anger. i regret the way i acted to him. and now he's the one lashing out and i'm the one with the puzzled look on my face..

i told him i felt like we needed to wait till he gets home. it's less than 2 months. i feel like we owe it to ourselves. we've overcome every other battle. and the end of this deployment is weighing on us. yes i am still frustrated and hurt but i am willing to take on anything to save my marriage. however, he's not having it. we have argued a lot this past year. neither of us understands what the other is going thru. he has no idea how much has changed for me, and i have no idea what has changed for him. he is really hurt and angry over things i said in a big mouth redneck rage. (acting like my 'father') i regret it, but i can't change it. i can just hope sometime between now and then he sees how sorry i am, and how much i do love him. even through the obstacles. i have faith in my marriage. and i have more love for my husband than anything or anyone. i just hope it isn't too late, i'm afraid it is.

say a little prayer for me, and say a little prayer for him to forgive. we have a long way to go if he's willing to, but i can quarantee our love is worth it. we've always made it through the tough stuff. and i don't want to stop now.

i know i've been mistaken,

but just give me a break and see the changes i have made

i've got some imperfections,

but how can you collect them all and throw them in my face.

....

i found what i need in you

why can't you just forgive me?

i dont want to relive all the mistakes i've made along the way