day by day.

One of my friends looked me dead in the eyes the other day, and said "does it hurt at all?" after I picked my mouth off the ground, I said of course it does, just because I'm not walking around crying doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I cry in my own private time, I'm sad it came to this. But I'm not going to curl up in a ball and die. Regardless of any situation, life goes on. I'm terrified to start a life without him, but I'm also looking forward to the future. Sometime's in life, love isn't enough and I realize that. You can't force two people to get along, and make it work.

From what I've seen from his facebook updates and such, he's doing just fine. I hope he is, I hope he's happy. I haven't really talked to him. I don't have too much to say really. Part of me is a little angry with him so it's probably best I stay quiet. I'm trying to work that out on my own. His mom keeps telling me we need to talk in person, but neither of us have any desire too. We let it go too far, before we really said anything. Too much has been done, and said and it's too late now. I know my feelings aren't what they used to be, I'm sure he feels the same. The same friend that asked if it hurt, also said can't you just make it work? No, you can't compromise each others happiness and wants to make everyone else happy. We're very different people. Somewhere between 15 and now we changed, duh, anyone would.

Maybe that makes me a huge bitch because I'm not willing to fight like I used to, oh well. Before you judge us, walk a mile in our shoes. People act so shocked because I never said what I was thinking or feeling, but I like to work my battles out on my own. I don't need your advice, because when it comes to Jacob, I'm not going to listen. I've never listened to anyone about us. I've always basically told people to kiss my ass, I was going to love him and be with him come hell or high water, and I did/do. But things change..

All I know is, I'm taking things day by day, minute by minute. Sometimes I have to walk away and fight back some tears, but I'm doing it. It's crazy to think how it goes from good to gone, how two people who were once inseperable are now complete strangers..